To lust or love. The same beginning, but not end.

What do you desire in relationship?

What is possible for you when you open up to being vulnerable, insfung love, lust and openness into sexual interactions with another?


This is a conversion around love, lust and intimate connection shared between myself and my intimate partner....  


I have mused on the concepts of love and lust for some time. Experiencing both. The exhilaration of first appreciation, connection, shared moments.

Yet lust does not involve a central feature that is at the core of love. Do you surrender to it? Does the thought of love scare you, as it should momentarily while considering what love actually is.

Removing sexual interactions for just a moment (you can do it), love distills a multitude of feelings for another. Once realised, it should calm thoughts. It should power your resolve. As it does with loving non-sexual partners, family, children.

So, is lust just a sexual driver, primal in activity? Perhaps, but this also a somewhat over-simplified suggestion. Lust has its place. But it should not be confused for love. It is certainly not love's replacement.

When love's lust enters the fray, only then is true interpersonal relations possible. We become givers and receivers of intimacy, surrendering to each other completely. We open channels for connection on planes much higher than simple lustful interactions can ever allow. The you and I become us.

Again, I do not discourage lustful interactions, they can be fun. They can momentarily distract, or teach us something about ourselves. Lust has a teaching place in our lives. However, love's lust has a resonance, a reasoning, a purpose far beyond ourselves.

Love's lust is what should be yearned. Ached for. Felt long after physical interactions have ceased.


Love doesn’t scare me... it would have in the past. Love for me now is a state of being, not something that I long to attain or experience. It comes from within. Fully loving myself allows me to make decisions from a place that I know is for my highest good. It is that feeling of aliveness and joy, calmness and presence, resolve. Each day I surrender to love, knowing  that I exist to embody it's qualities, as something higher living through me, to enjoy and share.

There are different states of love yes... The ancient greeks defined love with four different words and meanings

Agape - love as general affection. The love you would feel towards your children or spouse. The Christians later appropriated this word for use to express the unconditional love of God

Eros - passionate love, with sensual longing and desire. Although Eros is initially felt for a person with contemplation it becomes an appreciation of beauty within that person, or even becomes appreciation of beauty itself.

Philia - friendship or affectionate love. the general type of love between friends and family, a desire or enjoyment of an activity.

Storge - natural affection that is felt by parents for their offspring

When it comes to Eros; I am fully open to love all those that I chose to share the inner most places of my heart, mind, body and soul. There are very few that I chose to go to these places with. As I enter into this connection from a place of consciousness, a mutual state of conscious awareness must be present within the other. Only few hold a place to give and receive this with me.

Lust is a powerful response... I completely agree, a sexual driver. In my opinion, it forms and is driven whenever there is an arch of polarity created between the masculine and the feminine (MF, MM, FF depending on their sexual essence). Without this arch, the polarisation and sexual desire (lust) will not be created. What drives our lust... in my opinion, it is an outlet for the expression of Eros that lives through us that needs to be expressed.

Who we polarise with and what we get out of the experience depends solely on our own inner state of mental, emotional, spiritual and physical wellbeing. Like attracts like.

If fact, I came in to contact with a someone  today where the sexual polarity was hugely present. I could feel the lust and desire for them. It would have been so easy to act on an impulse, but I know that this would have only been a momentary release. It would have been fun, and I’m sure there would have been learnings that came with that experience. But for me I’ve played and experienced momentary releases over and over. Seeking valuation and acceptance outside of myself through lustful connection. It was only when I lost myself though these soulless connections that was I able to find who I truly was, and what it was that I deeply desired. Where I am on my path now and what I seek is an undefend love, a connection where I can completely lower all my defences and barriers. A safe space where I cease to defend who I think I am, and what I need. A space where I can and allow myself to let go and be guided by my intuition and my heart to the experiences that I can fully give myself in love to with the right soul.

It is here where these intimate connections are created for me. When I become an 'open channel for connection on planes much higher than simple lustful interactions" When I am seen by another, it gifts me the opportunity to see myself.  It connects me to my true essence, my higher self. What I came into this world with, that has been lost under masks and layers of social and personal conditioning. Our true essence is the place where the pure magic lies. Our uniqueness shines through us, we are able to feel our oneness with each other and the Divine... pure bliss. Where experiences for both go far beyond the physical, sexual and spiritual merge.

I love your idea of "love's lust"! I feel this is vital for us to experience the power of our life force. Our vitality, our primal carnal desires. The polarisation opening our chakras and allowing our sexual energy to flow freely. It inspires us, and then what we do with this sexual energy is up to us. It can be channelled into intimate connection or it can fuel us with intention and power which we can channel into creative endeavours. Those moments when everything we touch our create just flows freely through us from the heart without a moments hesitation.

I am also strong believer in the darker "love's lust" connections. Having the safety go to these darker depths, the places that we may be afraid to go to gives us a deeply healing and awakening experience. It allows us to work through the energetic and psychological blockages from our personal, cultural and ancestral wounding which has driven these darker expressions within us in the first place. Having a safe space within a intimate sexual connection where we are held and allowed to express our fullness gives the opportunity to experience healings and awakenings that no other form of self help or healing would allow. We are witnessed and seen. We can have huge shifts in these ecstatic, dirty lustful experiences.

For me these intimate connections are everything. They allow me to grow and awaken further. Whether these connections last a season or a lifetime, they are the most incredible gift sent from the Divine